I haven't managed to pick up a crochet hook now in an entire year. I've been in the midst of purging out some of my yarn, to try to free up some creative energy (not to mention SPACE). I've sold some, given some, and used some in barter exchanges.
Today I printed up the Milobo Chevron Lace Cardigan, a pattern I've used before, and love, and think it's brilliantly written, easy to comprehend, and makes a nice sweater.
My hope is: if I can convince myself to make another sweater, I have some brilliant yellow yarn (which I bought during my last trek to WEBS) for this in my stash. Perhaps it might help me refocus, and center myself. Crochet always was something that helped soothe me. In addition to losing my mom in this last year, I lost my crochet mojo as well as my mindfulness practice, not to mention the majority of my self care. I dare to hope I'll be churning out crazy amounts of sweaters in no time.
Meanwhile...
Today I mailed off an envelope containing an 8"x8" square of fabric to be used in a COVID Memorial Quilt. A friend embroidered mom's name, along with the years of her birth and death on it.
While the project is so noble, I feel so empty inside, I don't know what it's going to take to help me just process mom is gone (and I'll never have any kind of closure or resolution to all the things I feel or think should have been addressed--not to mention how I feel abandoned, not just by her as I always felt during my life, but also by the last dregs of my family by blood). The virus took her too quick. And I know several friends who have lost loved ones to this insidious, out of control virus.
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